Assassins Creed – In Depth Review

Here is my Assassins Creed “In Depth” Review. I say in depth but to be honest my review has about the same depth as this fucking miserable excuse for a game. To put it lightly, this game is a piece of shit.

When you first load the game up you are presented with a spectacular looking game but that shit is like putting lipstick on a pig because underneath all the pretty make-up is a fucking ugly game.

Every fucking mission is identical. The basic process for each level is as follows; climb up the towers in each city to find the information gathering missions which include, picking some miserable wankers pocket to steal info, bashing some cockheads face in to make him give up info, eavesdropping on a couple of faggots to get info, collecting flags for some miserable blackmailing fucker who is to lazy to do his own missions but is happy to tell you what he knows if you do his work for him. Once you’ve done a few of these missions you go and meet some reclusive informant who lives in a bunker because he’s afraid of being buttfucked by one of the many anal ploughers that litter the city. The informant tells you that you can go and take out the prime assassination target in each mission. From there you go and take out the prime assassination targets which are about as exciting as listening to AM radio. So that’s it, that is IT. Literally, nothing more to it. Try doing that about 15 times and not becoming bored shitless.

There’s also the cut-scenes which are fucking painful to sit through. Listening to these fuckers dribble on endlessly about “who the fuck knows what” is excruciating. I say “who the fuck knows what” because I didn’t actually listen to them after about the third time.

Now onto the fighting. It’s decent but some moron on the development team had a brainfart and decided to give you all of your abilities up front and then take them away after the first mission and force you to win them back. Great idea fuckmunch!! Go get a new job, game development isn’t your thing. Why not give proctology a shot. You’ve already got your head firmly entrenched up your own arse so do the same to someone else shouldn’t be a stretch.

The other thing to mention is the climbing mechanics which have great potential. To be honest, this is the only part of the game that presents any enjoyment but unfortunately it is let down because when you’re running along the rooftops it sometimes doesn’t detect edges of buildings and you therefore call off. This is extremely annoying when you’re trying to make a get away from the guards.

Oh yeah, there’s also this amazing twist in the game where you’re actually living in the current times and you’ve been strapped into some devise that allows you to live memories of your ancestors. They just tell you about this twist right at the start which reduces the impact significantly. It must have been another one of the proctologists ideas.

Another example of the genius of the development team is the way it frequently says “fast forwarding to a more recent memory”. Well fuck me, if you’re fast forwarding, wouldn’t it go without saying that you’re going to a more recent memory. Otherwise it would be rewinding. You fucking dopey pricks.

So that’s it. Don’t buy it.

Out.

T-Mac v LeBron - No Contest

Ok. Just to clear up what those idiots at ESPN are writing.
In the recent game between Cavs and Rockets, they wrote the following in the game recap...

"McGrady outdueled Lebron James, who had 32 points, nine rebounds and five assists but couldn't prevent Cleveland from falling."

Now that would be fine if not for the fact that Lebron shot 13 from 19 field goals including 3 of 7 threes compared to Tracy McGrady's 14 from 29 field goals including 0 of 5 threes. Lebron also had the same number of assists as Tracy and got 4 more rebounds and one less turnover than him so I don't see how they can say that Tracy "outdueled" him. The only thing they could possibly be basing it on is the fact that the Rockets won.

The Rockets winning had more to do with the fact that their second tier players were making shots while the Cavs players weren't. I mean how was Lebron supposed to compensate for his teammates, mainly Damon Jones and Donyell Marshell, combining for 4 from 22 from 3 point range and 20 from 57 field goals. His team shot 35% but he shot 68% and was labelled as outdueled by the ESPN knobheads.

If his teammates had have shot half decent they would have won. Would they still say he was outduelled by T-Mac then.

Anyway, not really important but it just pisses me off when these idiot sports writers can't get the most simple facts right when that is all they are paid to do.

Oh yeah, one more thing. T-Mac is a good player but he's an absolute fuckwit. Him and Kobe are pretty much on even par for being the biggest fuckwits in the league. Neither of them know the meaning of the word humble and neither of them ever give credit to the opposing players when they lose.

The Console Debate : Out of Control!

Which console is the best? Which manufacturer is the best? Which console has the best games? Which one is easier to program for? These questions and more always seem to come up whenever the console debate gets going. Personally I’m over it these days. I own a PS2 and an Xbox and both of them have their strong points. I think the graphics and gameplay on most of the current generation systems is fairly comparable, if you get into the real detail you can probably pick one over the other but slightly lower quality graphics and longer loading times hardly detracts greatly from the overall gaming experience.

I think the real key to choosing a system lies with the controllers. It might sound like a strange thing to suggest but think about it, if you’ve played certain games on both the Xbox and the PS2 you’ll know exactly what I mean. Sony definitely got the controller setup right with the original Playstation which is why they stayed with the exact same design for the PS2. Every button on the controller is easy to press without having to make any major finger movements. Xbox on the other hand decided that they were going to try something totally original and have the analog sticks situated slightly askew and have the four other buttons (A,B,X & Y) all on a strange angle so that you find yourself accidentally pressing the wrong buttons during the most inconvenient times in games. A fair amount of this may have been due to the fact that I was already used to my PS2 controller when I purchased my Xbox but obviously it wasn’t the only factor because Microsoft eventually released the ‘S’ controller which has seen that problem rectified. Yes, that’s right, they realised that all that money they spent on having a funky new controller design was wasted because it ended up being a piece of shit. So the ‘S’ controller has now become the standard for Xbox with the original controller completely obsolete now and not for sale anywhere.

The new Xbox controller was definitely a big improvement over the original but it still has issues. It only has it’s two shoulder buttons, one left and one right, compared to the PS2’s four. Some people say that’s not an issue because the Xbox controller has it’s good old clear and black buttons. These buttons do bring the button count on both machines to the same amount but the clear and black buttons on the Xbox are still heaps harder to use during a frenzied bit of gameplay than the PS2’s four shoulder buttons are. A prime example of this can be seen when playing NBA Street on both systems. There are more combo moves available on the PS2 version than on the Xbox version simply because the Xbox controller can’t accommodate enough simultaneous button presses without contorting your hand into some retarded alien form (some may argue that most Xbox fangeeks don’t have an issue with this because they are already retarded aliens).

Anyway, fear not, the latest version of the controller which will be shipped with the Xbox360 has apparently seen the Black and Clear buttons moved to the shoulder of the controller which in effect means it’s now almost an exact replica of the standard playstation controller which was released when the first Playstation hit store shelves back in the early nineties. I guess it just says that Microsoft were reluctant to admit that Sony got it right in the first place but in the end they had to crumble and give in to the fact that Sony are the leaders and they're the followers.

So what about all the other arguments about which one has the better graphics, which one is easier to program and all that crap. To be honest it’s a load of rubbish. I can’t stand the way these idiots carry on about frame rates like it makes or breaks a game, or worrying about a minor 3D model glitch where your characters arm passes through a wall. Whoop-de-do!! If you’re that worried about minor glitches like that I recommend you call Ray Martin and see if he can somehow spin it into a story about how video game glitches have sent you into a deep spiralling depression and driven you to suicide. Really, get a life!
In all honesty I see the biggest factor that will make or break this generation of game is the online communities that they offer. And if I’m right in that prediction, based on the current generation of consoles, Playstation has a long way to go to catch up to the Xbox.

I own the Playstation2 network adaptor and it is fun to get online and chat to other players but in comparison to the Xbox it’s not even close. Xbox has a much deeper online community whereby you can see what your friends are playing while your in a different game, you can also send invites to your friends and they’ll receive it even if they’re playing a different game. The comms is apparently a lot easier to use too. I can’t say I’ve ever used Xbox Live but from all reports it has PS2 covered completely. Obviously it remains to be seen what PS2 and Xbox have to offer on the next gen consoles but so far Xbox would appear to be leading the way.

Regardless of all of these factors, I’ll be buying whichever console comes out first and probably both of them eventually. At the moment I’m leaning towards Xbox first mainly because it has an earlier scheduled release date and there’s a lot more information available for it than for the PS3.

Sorry to anyone out there that is a fan of the Nintendo’s or any other consoles that I’m not aware of but I really haven’t gotten into any of the latest consoles other than Xbox and PS2.

Nintendo’s latest offering seems to be going in some new directions with their controller which will most likely prove to be a flop everywhere other than Japan but it could also be a huge success if they pull it off. But honestly, I still can’t take Nintendo seriously when they insist on releasing games with Super Mario in them. They’ve even thrown him into the latest release of SSX on the gamecube. That is soooooo lame! Is that company run by a bunch of 12 year olds? Sorry, it’s just too easy to ridicule that company. They’ve pretty much gone from being the world leader in the video game industry to a nobody (at least in the western world) purely because they insist on basing the console on kiddy games with the aforementioned ‘Super Mario’. Message to Nintendo, "Mario has had his 15 minutes", it’s over!

So that’s where we’re at. The impending release of the Xbox360 is scheduled for the 20th November 2005 in the U.S. of A with the Aussie release sometime in the new year, around March I think. Can’t wait for that! As for the PS3, not sure what it will have to offer yet but I’m pretty certain I’ll be grabbing one at some stage because GT5 will be an exclusive and it’ll be totally insane.

That’s all for now.

Catch ya later.

NBA Season Preview 05/06

Well the NBA season is underway again. Most teams have already played 2 games with many into their 4 games today. My old favourite team of Sacramento have started slowly this year as they did last year. The team has a very different look this year now that they’ve added Shareef Abdur Rahim (spelling is probably way off there!), Bonzi Wells and a couple of others. I’ve always said they shouldn’t have dismantled the team when they had CWebb and Doug Christie but that era is clearly over now. I think they’ll make the playoffs this year but I don’t see them going anywhere with the team they have. Peja still needs to become a more dominant player like he was a couple of seasons ago when Webber was out injured. Mike Bibby has also started slowly this year but I’ve got no doubt he’ll get it together and start taking over soon enough. The new additions are solid players but not of the superstar calibre of CWebb. They also don’t have a scoring punch off the bench anymore since they got rid of Bobby Jackson.

The main focus of my attention this year will definitely be with the Cavs. Cleveland have upgraded their team considerably this season with the additions of Larry Hughes, Donyell Marshall and Damon Jones. Damon Jones I’m still not convinced about, he really only seemed to deliver good shooting when he played with Miami and had Shaq and Dwayne Wade drawing double and triple teams. It’ll be interesting to see if he can do the same in Cleveland. I’m sure Lebron will be drawing plenty of double and triple teams himself but he generally won’t be as deep as Shaq was so the open shots may not be there for D.Jones.

Lebron is still the man though. If he doesn’t make the playoffs this year it’ll be a huge disappointment. He’s got a complete game, he can do everything on the basketball court and more. He’s even already developed a nasty 3 point shot and he’s only in his third season and is still only 20. So much for all the critics who said he couldn’t shoot. Not only has he developed a nice jump shot, he’s done it a lot quicker than most other players who have been labelled with the same tag, such as MJ. Now that’s scary! Look for Lebron to take out the MVP trophy this year, providing his team makes the playoffs, which they should.

So who do I like for the championship this year. It’s hard to go past the Spurs seeing they’ve added Michael Finley and Nick Van Exel but if anyone is going to challenge them it’ll probably be Miami, Indiana or Detroit. Detroit have still got a strong team and could be even stronger if they’d invest some time in developing Darko Milicic. Miami will be a contender if Shaq can stay healthy. They’re additions of Gary Payton, Antoine Walker and Jason Williams are all good but Shaq is still the key. Indiana are obviously still a contender with solid players in all positions. Jermaine O’Neal in the middle, Ron Artest at forward and Jamal Tinsley at Guard. All those guys can put up big numbers and Ron Artest is a freak at both ends of the floor when he gets going.

So who else is there? Dallas are an outside chance to challenge and there’s probably some other teams that will surprise us and challenge this year but I’d only be guessing if I named them. Milwaukee have looked promising this year with Michael Redd and T.J Ford paying extremely well. Andrew Bogut has also looked good in his first few games. I’d be very surprised if they challenged for a title but they’re definitely a good chance to make the playoffs this year.

One other thing I should mention is that CWebb (aka Chris Webber) is still kicking ass this year despite all the usual so-called critics that continue to bash him. He came out in game one with a huge game and put up 30 plus points and in the last game against Indiana he closed out the game with clutch free throws. So once again, he’s proved he’s an all-star performer even though he’s got serious knee issues these days. Enough said about that though.

Oh, almost forgot to mention Phoenix, they’re without Amare Stoudamire for the first four months of the season but they’ll definitely be a challenger once Amare gets back into the team. I think the team they have until then will be good enough to keep the record up enough to make the playoffs.

So in summary, it should be a good season. There’s plenty of talent around the league these days. Let’s hope everyone stays injury free.

Word up.

GT4 - The best car racing sim anywhere.

Seriously. This is the best Car racing game available on any system.
Let's get that out of the way at the start. Anyone who says otherwise either hasn’t played it or they don’t know how to drive a car.

Now, let’s list the challengers and cross them off one by one. We’ve got Xbox’s first desperate attempt to match GT4 which was called Project Gotham Racing. Now this game is okay, meaning it's probably almost as good as GT1. Compared to GT3 it’s probably 20% there, compared to GT4, let’s not even go there. And what is with the name!?! How can you take a game with a name that sounds like something out of a B-grade Batman movie and try to pass it off as a serious racing simulator.

Gotham 2 was released later on and was probably a mild improvement over it’s predecessor but still not anywhere close to being in the league of GT3 or GT4. It may have slightly pipped GT1. One other thing which deserves a mention is the "Kudos" that you earn for doing things in the Gotham games. I’m not saying that it’s not a good idea but it’s hardly related to a simulation. If this game is supposed to be a better simulation than GT3 or GT4, as the Xbox fans seem to continuously preach, what the hell is an arcade game feature such as Kudos doing in the game.

Anyway, let’s move onto the latest Xbox offering that the Xbox monkeys are hyping as a game that "shit’s all over GT4". A friend of mine actually emphatically made that proclaimation when I dared suggest that GT4 is untouchable in terms of realism. The game I’m talking about is Forza Motorsport and I’ll excuse you if you find yourself saying "I can’t say of heard of that one" to yourself. See like most of the games that supposedly rival GT4, when you try to remember the name of those games 6 months after their release date, you struggle. Forza has it’s good points and in essence it’s a good game but to be honest it still doesn’t come close to GT4. It is a lot closer to the mark than Gotham ever was and it definitely has more of a simulation type feel to it but the physics still aren’t quite there. The car models are also not quite as crisp and sharp as the GT4 (or GT3 for that matter) models.

The big plus for Forza that any Xbox dweeb will rattle on about endlessly is the fact that it has damage. Fair enough, I can pay that. It has damage and GT4 doesn’t but in all honesty it’s only there for the sake of it. You can pretty much plough your car head on into a barrier and only suffer minor damage, so what is the point. Sure, you’re car may look slightly damaged in the replay but hardly a realistic example of what it would really look like after ploughing into a wall. So for mine, it’s a pointless addition to the game. You see, if GT4 had have implemented this kind of addition to the game, chances are it would have been dumped prior to the game getting shipped because it wasn’t 100% on the mark. Every GT game has been renowned for being extremely polished in every facet of the game. It’s the exact reason that the online play was scrapped in GT4, because the design team weren’t happy with it and didn’t want to include it just for the sake of having it. But let’s get back on track, in summary Forza is a good game with reasonably realistic car physics and gameplay. It’s a game that I’d recommend to Xbox owners as the closest thing to GT4 available on the Xbox. One more side note, Forza has about 250 different cars, GT4 has over 700 different cars. When I recently mentioned this to a Xbox obsessed friend he responded with "So, most of the cars are crap and not worth driving anyway". I should point out that he hasn’t actually played GT4, he’s basing his whole opinion on what he read in an Xbox magazine which is specifically written to con Xbox owners into believing that Xbox is actually a better option than the Playstation2.

Anyway, I’d just like to point out that the point of writing this is not to prove that GT4 is the best racing sim available, I believe if people look at the facts they’d already be pretty aware of that. The real point of this is to point out the fucking blatant obvious in a way that the Xbox spanner heads might be able to understand.

By the way, I own an Xbox and Playstation 2 and I also own copies of all of the games I've mentioned in this blog. Yes, I've played them all and have an unbiased opinion on the matter.
If any of you mullet head Xbox fans want to abuse me. I look forward to the amusing attempts to convince yourselves that you have any game available that is capable of matching GT4 in any way.

Out.

Duncan winning the Finals MVP

Don't get me wrong. Tim Duncan is a good player but there is no way he should have won the MVP in the finals. Manu Ginobili or Robert Horry did more than he did when it counted. He couldn't hit a foul shot when it mattered. He was as far from being clutch as possible. If Manu hadn't taken over the game in the first two matches and Robert Horry hadn't bailed the Spurs out in game 5 the Spurs wouldn't have stood a chance. I mean Duncan only really hit any big shots in game 7 and if it wasn't for Manu and Horry he wouldn't have even had the opportunity.
It really does show how completely stuffed the administration is in the NBA. Sure Duncan's stats don't look that bad but the fact is a true champion can deliver in the clutch moments. Duncan hardly did anything in the clutch moments all series long.

Anyway, enough said. It's just really annoying how predictable the NBA is these days. Duncan could have averaged 10 turnovers a game and they still would have given him the trophy.

At this rate the guy is gonna end up with more trophies and championships than Magic or Jordan and they'll be talking about him as if he was at their level.

The guy is good but he's not even close to being in the class of those guys.

CWebb goes to Philly!

Well this post is a bit belated but better late than never.
You're probably aware by now that Chris Webber was traded from Sacramento to Philadelphia about a week ago.

If this had have happened a year ago I would have been more dissappointed but seeing as the team was pretty much a shell of it's former self even before the Webber trade was made, I don't really care too much. Ever since Vlade left it hasn't been the same team, in fact you could even go back further to when Hedo Turkoglu was traded or even Scott Pollard. This year they shipped Doug Christie away and now CWebb so it says something about the direction the team is heading.

With the team they have now, they have no hope of being a contender unless Mike Bibby and Peja both step up to an all new level and both average in the mid 20's. Even if that does happen, they have a major defencive hole now. CWebb is a majorly underrated defender and if it wasn't for his dodgy knee he'd be even better. He has very good hand eye co-ordination and is great at stripping the ball away from his opponent. Losing Doug Christie had already left a huge hole but now it'll be even more obvious.

I think a lot of the fans in Sac have been on CWebb's back and haven't given him much respect since he returned from injury last season. Obviously the Kings were rolling along without him and as soon as he came back they started to struggle a bit with the team chemistry. It's an easy conclusion to come to for anyone that knows nothing about basketball but for people that have any intelligence it's obvious that CWebb wasn't the problem. CWebb is still putting up numbers to match any of the power forwards in the league. He doesn't have the athletic ability that he used to and he probably hasn't had them for the last 3 seasons or more but he still plays at an All-Star level.

I'll find it amusing when the Kings bomb out in the first round of the playoffs this year when their huge defensive weaknesses are exploited. And when this happens, I'm sure none of the Webber knockers will have guts to admit they were wrong. CWebb has been one of the best players in the league ever since he was drafted. I've followed him from his first day in the league and I'll continue to follow him in Philly now. I watched him change the Kings into a contender and I'm gonna watch him help Philly get deep into the playoffs this year. There's no doubt that Iverson is the man on that team and that CWebb will be the second option there but once he adapts to the team structures and plays, he'll start rolling again. He's one of the most skilled players in the League, and skills take you a long way no matter how many injuries you have to battle.

As far as the reasons for the trade go.... who knows!!!
Sacramento are either rebuilding or their hoping to make another big trade for some defenders soon. The roster they have at the moment won't cut it in the playoffs. Either way, they should have at least played out the season. There was still every chance that they could start rolling once Peja came back.

All in all I think the Kings have been the best team in the league during the Webber era. And he was the main reason for that no matter what the knockers want to believe. Sure, they never won a championship but that was more to do with injuries than anything else. They pushed the Lakers to the 7th game in the playoffs but couldn't get over the line. The Kings were the better team in that series but the Lakers had a guy named Shaq that they could go to whenever they needed to score.

So Sac, you've lost another fan because of this trade.
I'll still keep an eye on how the Kings are going because I've got a lot of respect for Mike Bibby and Peja and Bobby Jackson, but from now on I'll be supporting Philly.

In closing, fuck all you CWebb knockers. He made your team a contender and played through injury to get you there yet you somehow manage to convince yourselves it's his fault your team has struggled recently.

CWebb is still the player's player.